State of Grace
by Carstairsy
Summary: They always leave his door cracked, they're both terrified something will happen to him. **Continuation of my other fic All it Took
1. Chapter 1

**AN: This is a continuation of my story All it Took, but reading it isn't necessary. James is Steve and Nat's son. Taylor is Tony and Pepper's daughter. Then Clint has a daughter named Ellie.**

* * *

They decided on a private wedding, on a beach in California, Tony had offered one of his beach houses. There wasn't a wedding party since there were so little guest, but Taylor still insisted on being the flower girl. Natasha had taken Steve's last name because she know how much it ment to him, even if he wouldn't admit it, but kept her own last name for business. When the reception was over Steve and Natasha said a quick goodbye to James and snuck out before Tony could make a comment about them leaving so soon.

Natasha closed the door behind her with a sigh of relief. She reached behind her dress to unzip it without much luck. Steve placed his hands on her hips, "need some help?" He whispered into her ear.

She breathed out a laugh, "that would be nice." The dress fell to her feet and she tiptoed out of it. "I'm taking one of your shirts," she called as she walked to the bedroom.

He shucked off his coat. "I packed extra for you," he called back.

She poked her head out the door, "I knew there was a reason I married you."

Natasha emerged from the bathroom, clad in Steve's shirt, wiping off the last of her makeup. She grabbed Steve's arm and pulled him down to the couch with her. He brushed the hair out of her face, "do you remember a few months ago when you said you wanted more kids?"

She pulled him closer, "after we we're married."

"We're married now."

She looked up at him to see his eyes filled with hope. She sighed, "not right after we're married. Don't you want to wait?"

"I've been waiting for years, Nat." His voice was calm and his hands that were wound through her hair were gentle.

She opened her mouth to reply but her phone ringing cut her off. "It's probably Pepper," she pressed a kiss on his cheek as she stood up. She retrieved her phone from the table, and saw that Pepper had sent her a picture of James and Taylor asleep together on the couch.

Natasha padded back to the couch, phone in hand, and laid down in her previous spot with her head on Steve's chest. He ran his hands through her hair, "everything alright?"

"Yeah," she handed him the phone, "look what Pepper sent me."

He took the phone from her and chuckled. A few moments passed before Natasha spoke up, "yes."

"What?"

"Yes, I want more kids."

He lifted her chin up to look her in the eyes, "now?"

She smiled "now."

* * *

When Steve got home three months later the first thing he saw was an empty apartment. "Nat?" There wasn't a reply but he noticed the bathroom door wide open. He slowly stepped in, "Natasha, you okay?"

She was on the floor next to the toilet with her head resting against the wall, "I hate you."

"What are you-" Steve stopped he saw the pregnancy test on the counter. The positive pregnancy test. His eyebrows rose, "you're pregnant?"

"Yes." A smile blossomed on his face and he crossed the room in two long strides. He pulled her into his arms and peppered her face in kisses. "I feel like hell and it's your fault," she grumbled.

Steve pressed one last kiss on her nose before he pulled away. "It's worth it though, right?" His hand moved to her cheek, she covered his hand with her own, and leaned into his touch.

"Yes, yes it is."


	2. Chapter 2

James' eyes flicked between his parents, who were crouched in front of him. They interrupted his Lego building to talk to him. "So the babies in there?" He pointed to Natasha's stomach. It was hard to explain to James since Natasha wasn't showing yet.

"Yes," Steve said slowly, there weren't sure how James would react. So far not too badly, but that could change any moment. They chose their words wisely, and hoped to God that he wouldn't ask where babies come from.

James raised an eyebrow -Steve had to stifle a laugh, he always that it was funny that he inherited that from Natasha- and stared at Natasha's stomach before shrugging and turning back to his legos.

Natasha touched his shoulder, "you're okay with all this?"

James just stared at the Lego skyscraper he was building. "I like it when it's just us."

Steve leaned in and whispered something to James. Natasha couldn't hear a word and watched with raised eyebrows.

James shrugged again, "I guess a little sister would be okay."

"Are you okay now?" Steve asked. James nodded his head, and Steve pulled him in for hug, causing James' laughs to fill the room.

"I'll take that as a yes," Steve said. He winked at Natasha from over James' shoulder, she rolled her eyes but smiled. She honestly didn't know what she'd do without him.

* * *

Natasha started to remember how much she hated not being able to go on missions. It made her feel antsy, and she'd pace around the room trying to think of something to do. That and the anxiety that always came when Steve was on a mission combined was just plain hell for her.

She had just finished rearranging the pillows for the third time when she decided to check up on James. When she cracked open the door to his bedroom instead of the usual site of James spread across the bed with the blankets and pillows everywhere, he was curled up and wide awake.

Natasha crouched down next to his bed, and carded her fingers through his hair. "Can't sleep?" He nodded his head, "want me to stay with you?" James scooted to make room for Natasha.

"Want me to read you a book?"

"I like dad's stories." Steve had told him endless tales of him and Bucky. Steve wanted James to know more about who he was named after. James absolutely loved the stories, and Steve unofficially became the story teller. Natasha didn't really have any stories to tell, because she sure as hell won't tell her child about her childhood in the red room.

"He's not home yet," James burrowed into his blanket. "But I think I have one," she reassured him.

James poked his head out of the blanket, "really?"

Natasha smiled down at him, "really."

She told him stories of the Avengers, and was relieved to see his eyes closing. When she finished she heard a light knock on the door. She looked up to see Steve, in his Captain America suit, standing in the doorway. Natasha smiled at him as he stepped into the room, and slowly slipped out of the bed. Steve fixed the pillows and tucked James in, and Natasha leaned down to press a kiss on James' head.

Steve guided Natasha to their bedroom, and flicked off all the lights Natasha had left on. "Did you change the pillows?"

"No, why would I do that?"

When Steve walked through the door, he went straight to the bed and sat on the edge. He lowered his head into his hands, so Natasha couldn't see his face.

She stood in front of him and he wordlessly wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closer. He leaned his head onto her stomach and she ran her fingers through his hair, it was caked with mud, but she didn't care. It was silent, which was odd. When ever he came back from a mission he'd smile that smile that always gave her tingles, and hold her tight to him while he kissed her.

Natasha bent down to kiss the top of his head, "are you going to tell me what's wrong, or do I have to guess?" His hand tightened around her shirt. "Ya know, a wise patriotic man with a great ass once told me, you'll feel better if you talk about it."

Silence.

"It's you."

Silence.

"You have a really great ass."

She was relieved when she heard his chuckle. He looked up at her, she didn't notice the dark circles under his eyes in James' room, it was too dark, but she could see them now. He smiled a sheepish smile, "so I've been told."

She cupped his cheek, and he closed his eyes while he leaned into her touch. "better only hear that from me."

"Well Darcy-"

"Unless you want Darcy dead by the morning, you'll stop talking. She felt his breathy laugh on her palm before he kissed it. "What can I do to help?"

"This is helping," he covered her hand with his own, "a lot."

He opened his eyes when she moved her other hand to his face. She traced his lips with the pads of her fingers, and they came back bloody from his split lip. "Sorry," he rose from the bed, "I'm taking a shower."

"Good, I need a shower just looking at you."

"There's room for two in there," he called over his shoulder.

She threw a pillow at him, "go take a shower, Rogers."

"Yes, ma'am."

Steve watched as blood and mud swirled into the water and down the drain. He was leaning against the shower wall, too exhausted to move. Natasha throwing back the shower curtain startled him. "Where's all your shirts?"

"Jesus, Nat!"

Natasha rolled her eyes, "so modest. You act like I've never seen you naked before." She looked at his face, his eyes weren't as bright as they usually were. Her features and voice softened, "you're still not okay."

"I'm fine. But I am cold, close the curtain."

"fine," she shimmied out her jeans and pulled her shirt over her head. She closed the shower curtain behind her as she stepped into the shower. "All you said was close the curtain, you never said anything about me leaving." She snaked her arms around his hips and buried her face between his shoulder blades.

He entwined their fingers, "I don't want you to."

She stood on her toes to press a kiss on his neck, "good."

She reached in front of him to grab the shampoo. "You still have mud in your hair," she said as poured the shampoo onto her hand. "You got to lean down, you're too tall."

He knelt down in front of her and her fingers threaded through his hair. "I think you're too short- ow, Nat!"

"I'm sorry," a small smirk played on her lips, "did I pull your hair?"

He gave her an unamused look before standing up to rinse his hair. "Hey, I didn't get a kiss when you got home."

He grasped her hips and pulled her to him, and fit his lips to hers. He held her close, and kissed her long and gently. When he pulled away he held her to him until the water ran cold.

When they got dressed Steve handed her a shirt, "third drawer." He laughed at her unamused look and stole a quick kiss. She slipped on the shirt, and burrowed under the covers. "You're such a blanket hog," Steve said as he climbed into the bed.

They laid side by side next to each other. Natasha reached out and brushed her hand against Steve's cheek, "tell me what happened, Steve."

"They found leads on Bucky again."

"Didn't those stop years ago?"

"Yes, Fury made me give up on finding him," Steve said bitterly, "said I was wasting my time."

"When Fury says that to me I usually ignore him," she rubbed small circles on his cheek with her thumb.

He grasped her hand and held it between both of his. Steve let out a breathy laugh, "I don't know what to do."

"This is good news, Steve, you can find him again."

"If the it was the other way around, he would've found me by now."

"I know how the red room makes you think, how it teaches you to manipulate people," Steve opened his mouth to say something, but she pressed on, "the reason the leads stopped was because he didn't want to be found. They're starting up again because he wants to be found, even if he doesn't know it yet. He's being less careful without realizing it, making it easier to track him down."

Steve just nodded his head, and stared at their hands. "You'll find him, okay?" She reached up and gave him a kiss, "get some sleep."

He pulled her to him and buried his face in her hair. She thought he was asleep until he spoke up, "I love you."

"I love you too."

* * *

**AN: Thank you all for your favorites, follows and lovely reviews! I'm hoping to put another chapter up of either this fic or my other one this weekend. Or both if I have time. **

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Marvel, if I owned Marvel there would be like ten black widow movies out by now. **


	3. Chapter 3

Natasha isn't exactly the best person to share a bed with. She's a blanket hog, and she sleeps in the middle of the bed. But Steve still climbs into bed with her with a smile on his face, and kisses her every morning when she wakes up. Well if she's awake, she prefers to sleep in- unlike Steve. So it was odd when she woke up before him.

The sheets were pooled at his waist, and he was lying on his stomach. Natasha reached out and brushed the hair out of his face. The dark circles under his eyes were still present, he's been searching for Bucky for two weeks with no avail. Her hands went to his bare back and started tracing shapes with her fingertips. He shifted slightly, and Natasha's hand stilled. When he stayed asleep she pulled her hand back, and tried to get back to sleep herself.

Steve's hand shot out to pull her to his chest. "Thought you were asleep," she said.

He buried his face into her neck, "nope."

She poked his chest, "you should go back to sleep."

His arms tightened around her, "don't want to."

"You're worse than James," she rolled her eyes.

He looked up at her, and she had to stifle a laugh. "What?"

"Nothing," she said before laughing again. His hair was sticking up, and his eyes were puffy. "I just never really seen you when you first wake up, you're always up before me." She grabbed her phone off the nightstand, and took a picture of him. "This one is going to Coulson."

He grabbed the phone from her hands, "I look like how you usually look in the mornings."

She took the phone back, "what's that suppose to mean?"

"It means that you aren't a morning person."

"Put a shirt on, Rogers."

"You took all of them."

* * *

"Easy!" Clint yelled at Thor. Thor was holding Ellie, and Clint isn't really comfortable with a God holding his daughter. Especially when said god starts tossing her in the air.

"I'm guessing Thor is holding her again?" Bruce said while walking into the common room. He looked up from his tablet to see Thor and Ellie laughing, and Clint's eye twitching. "You're twitching, Clint."

"I think it's time I take her," Clint said, and took Ellie from Thor.

"You should have seen him with James," Bruce said, "Natasha almost killed him. It's probably going to be worse with the second kid."

"Red is pregnant?" Tony called from the couch.

"You didn't know?" Clint asked.

"No," Tony's eyes widened, "Pepper is gonna kill me."

"Why?"

"She's been wanting another kid for almost a year."

"Mrs. Stark has entered the building," Jarvis echoed around them.

"Oh no," Tony said before jumping over the couch, and running to the elevator

* * *

Tony had managed to avoid Pepper all day, and when he closed the door behind him she was sitting on the couch with her arms and legs crossed. "Haven't seen you all day."

Tony held onto the door knob and contemplated about running out. "I've been busy." He shrugged.

"I've been looking for you all day. Natasha is pregnant again."

"So I've heard."

"I didn't even know they were trying for another one," her lips pressed into a tight line.

"Where's Taylor?" Tony asked, trying to change the subject.

"Asleep."

"I think Bruce needs me in the lab," Tony turned around, and opened the door.

"Tony, sit down." Tony sat across from her. "If you don't want another kid, just tell me. Don't get my hopes up."

Tony moved to the spot next to her, and held her hand between both of his. "Of course I want more kids," a small smile appeared on Pepper's lips, "just not right now."

Her smile faded, "you've been saying that for a year."

"We just had Taylor-"

She pulled her hand back, "she's five, Tony."

"I don't understand why you want more kids!"

She rose from the couch. "I don't understand why you're such an ass!"

They stopped when a door opened behind them, Taylor was standing in the doorway of her room. Tony stopped yelling, "just give me time to think."

"You can think about it while you sleep on the couch," Pepper whispered before going to Taylor.

* * *

Steve was lying in bed with his arm slung across his stomach, and Natasha crawled across the bed and gave him a quick kiss before settling against him. "Pepper and Tony are fighting," she said.

"I know, I heard them." Steve said as he wrapped his arm around her.

"Pepper really wants another kid."

"Tony will come around," he said as his hand ran up and down her back.

It was silent for awhile. "What time are you leaving in the morning?"

"I'm not."

She looked up at him, "you're not?"

"I've barely been home," he tucked a piece of hair behind her ear, "I have a family, I can't look for him for months on end."

"Doesn't mean you can't still look for him," she said.

"I know, I just still want to make time for you and James. He leaned forward and kissed her forehead.

"I have an appointment in the morning, we should sleep."

"Alright," he flicked off the light, and they fell asleep with his arms around her and her head on his chest.

* * *

**AN: Sorry for the late update! The only excuse I have is that I started a new fic. Anyway, thanks for reading!**


	4. Chapter 4

When Steve pushed open the door to the retirement home he was greeted with a smile by the usual nurse. She was young and always had a faint blush whenever she talked to him. "Evening, Mr. Rogers."

Steve tipped his head, "ma'am."

"She should be awake."

"Thank you."

Before Steve could walk through the hallway a hand stopped him. "She's a little... Off today," the nurse said, her usual pink cheeks gone.

"It will be fine, I'll leave earlier if I have to," Steve assured her. She nodded her head and let him pass.

Steve has gotten use to the normal response to seeing Peggy. Sometimes she'd just stare at him in shock, but mostly she just cries. It breaks Steve's heart to see it, but he sits by the bed and holds her hand until her tears are gone.

Peggy once told him that she regretted that he never got to live his life, so he's made it a habit of sorts to tell her about Natasha and James. Even if he has to tell her the same thing everytime, he talks to her when things get a little too rough. Like when Natasha doubts herself and he has to give her some time for herself for a few hours. That hasn't happened in years, but Steve still visits Peggy frequently.

He goes through the usual things he tells her, and she ask some of her usual questions. Like, James? After Barnes? Or she'd make a comment about how many women Natasha had tried to set him up with. Even though all this is new to Peggy, Steve had memorized it all.

Steve, knowing he won't have much time left, dismissed himself. "Goodbye, Steve. Promise you'll see me again."

"I promise-" a fit of coughing cut him off. He grabbed the glass of water on the bedside table, and handed it to her.

"Steve?" Peggy asked, "Is that you?"

Steve's lips pressed into a hard line, "Yes, it's me. I'm right here, Peggy."

* * *

Steve could hear the sound of talking and laughter before even opening the door. It brings a smile to his face, it's hard to believe that just a few years ago it was always silent. When he opened the door James and Taylor shouted a quick greeting before turning back to their board game. "Hey, soldier," Natasha called from the couch.

He chuckled as he walked to her. "Scoot over, you're taking up the entire couch."

She stretched out more, "I'm your pregnant wife, I have the right to take the entire couch."

He rolled his eyes but he was still smiling. He picked her up and sat on the couch, laying her against him. "Tony took Pepper out tonight," she lowered her voice, "he's trying to get on her good side."

Steve checked to see if Taylor was listening. She wasn't, she was standing on the coffee table with her arms out and her chin up, which is what usually happens whenever she wins. Yeah, she's defiantly Tony Stark's daughter. Steve turned his attention back to Natasha, "they're still fighting?"

"Not so much anymore, but Pepper is still pissed," Natasha whispered.

"She just needs to be patient, it takes time for a decision that big."

Natasha laughed, "didn't take you long, you've been wanting more kids since James was born."

"Dad, we need another player," James called from the floor, interrupting their conversation, "please," he added.

"That's just me," Steve said, rising from the couch. "And it took some time but you came along." He gave her a quick kiss on the cheek before sitting on the floor with James and Taylor.

For the next hour or so, Natasha watched Steve play Monopoly with them. How he let both of them win, or when he stopped Taylor from jumping onto the table or stacking the houses to make a miniature Stark tower.

Eventually Natasha slid down onto the floor to join them, and Steve shot her a smile before James accidentally knocked the board over, making all the plastic houses hit Steve. After the game was fixed they played for another ten minutes before Taylor and James declared that they were bored. Which, coincidently, is the same time that Tony flung open the door and slumped onto the couch, Pepper in tow.

"Thanks for watching her," Pepper said.

"No problem," Steve said, rising from the floor and stretching.

"Bye, Aunt Red and Uncle Spangles," Taylor said.

"Taylor!"

"What? Dad says it." Tony's eyes widened, and he shook his head.

Pepper sighed, and they all said their goodbyes. Pepper and Tony seemed less tense around each other, Steve didn't know if it was because they were in front of Taylor or because they stopped fighting. Either way, it was a good sign.

"It's your bedtime," Steve said, throwing James over his shoulder.

"Careful, Steve," Natasha chided as James' laughs filled the room.

"He's fine," Steve said, "but it is your bedtime."

"Can I stay up?" James asked as Steve set him down.

"Sorry, James, but just like your mother, you're not a morning person," Steve said.

"Hey!" Natasha called from the kitchen.

"Well it's true," Steve called back. He turned his attention to James, "c'mon, I'll tell you a story."

It's hard to fit both James and Steve on the twin size bed, but they both manage. Even if Steve has to squeeze into the corner. "Have I ever told you about when Bucky and I got kicked out of the movie theater?"

"No."

Steve chuckled, "this is a good one." With that he began his story, leaving out certain parts, like he always does.

Natasha slipped through the door around the middle of the story. She was silent as she pulled the desk chair to the side of the bed, but she slipped her hand into Steve's. Her free hand carded through James' hair as she listened.

James' eyes startes to close before Steve even finished the story. (Just at the good part when Steve almost broke the projector). So Steve slipped out of the bed, careful not to make the matress dip too much. "Good night, James," Natasha whispered as she kissed his forehead, and rose from the chair.

They always leave his door cracked, they're both terrified something will happen to him. Even though it's unlikely, it's comforting to know he's safe.

Steve walked to the record player with a small smile playing on his lips. Soon, soft music crackled throughout the room. "May I have this dance?" Steve said, extending his hand out to Natasha.

"You're such a dork sometimes," she said, but she still took his hand.

"Yes, but I'm your dork," he held up his hand, and flashed her his wedding ring.

He pulled her to his chest tightly and set his free hand on her hip as she laughed softly. They danced in silence with her head on his shoulder for a few songs, until Steve spoke. "Do you ever miss it? Ballet, I mean."

Natasha tilted her head up to look at him. "Sometimes," she admitted, "why?"

"Just wandering. I've still never seen you dance."

"Maybe one day I'll show you," she said, burying her face into his neck, "you know, when I'm not a whale."

He shouldered her gently, "don't say that."

It was quiet a few moments until Natasha whispered, "how was she?"

He stopped dancing for a moment, but then continued. "She's getting worse, Nat, she doesn't remember as long."

She held him tighter, "I'm sorry, Steve."

"It's fine," Steve started, "it's just- it's scary to think that there was a chance that I could've been with her in that retirement home."

Natasha tensed in his arms. "But," Steve continued, "Peggy always says that she wished that I got to live my life. Peggy lived her life, now I get to live mine." He pulled back to twirl her. When they were face to face again, a small smile tugged on his lips. "And everyday I'm so grateful that I get to live it with you."

* * *

**Okay wow, it's been awhile since I updated. But the new Age of Ultron trailer motivated me to write. Anyway, thanks for reading!**


	5. Chapter 5

"You never did this the last time I was pregnant," Natasha said as Steve wrapped a blanket around her. The second she woke up, he grabbed all the extra blankets and piled them onto the bed. Steve had been treating her like she was made of glass. She didn't like it. She's pregnant not dying.

He tucked a piece of hair behind her ear, "you never let me."

"I'm not letting you now," she mumbled under her breath.

He sighed and pulled back to look at her. "Nat, I feel like I'm never home anymore. And this is a way I could help, let me." The leads on Bucky had picked up all over New York, and Steve had been out every night for almost two weeks. He'd stumbled into bed only a few hours before, just before the sun came up.

She didn't look at him, she knew he was going to give her puppy-dog eyes. She stayed quiet until he pressed a small kiss to her shoulder. "Fine." He smiled, and leaned in to kiss her. "But," she said, stopping him, "don't treat me like I'm weak."

"Wouldn't dream of it," he said, leaning back in.

"Because I could still kick your ass."

"I know," he said before kissing her.

When they broke apart, she pulled him closer. "How late did you come home last night?"

He shrugged, "four or five maybe."

"Steve-"

"I know," he said, squeezing his eyes shut, "I know." He opened his eyes, and ran his hand through Natasha's hair.

"I'm just worried about you," Natasha said, turning her head into his neck.

"Don't be," Steve said softly.

Natasha propped her chin on his chest to look at him, "I think you should take the night off." Steve opened his mouth to protest but she pressed on. "You need to rest, Steve."

"Alright," he leaned forward and pressed a kiss on her forehead.

He shifted the conversation to a happier note. "Only a month more and we'll know the gender," Steve said as he placed his hand on her stomach. "I think they're going to be a girl," he stated confidently.

Natasha placed her hand over his, "I feel like they're another boy."

"Wanna bet?"

Natasha raised an eyebrow, "really, Rogers, we're doing this again?" When she was pregnant with James they had a bet on the gender. Natasha ended up winning, and Steve had to lend Coulson his shield.

A small smile played on his features, "scared of losing?"

"No, what should we bet?"

Steve thought for a moment, "winner gets to pick the name."

"Make it middle name, and you've got a deal. If it is a girl I don't want a daughter named something like Mildred."

Steve laughed, "we could've called her Milly."

"God, I hope you're joking."

"Partially."

Natasha sat up to look at the clock, "James should be waking up any minute now."

Steve turned his head to look at the time, "surprised he isn't up already."

"I let him stay up a little later than his bedtime last night." Natasha said as she tucked herself back into Steve's side. "He wanted to stay up until you got home."

Guilt stabbed at him, "I hate never being home."

"You're home now," she said, looking up at him.

Before he could reply, James was pushing open the door. In the blink of an eye he was on the bed, and throwing himself into Steve's arms. "Morning, buddy," Steve said, wrapping his arms around James. "You slept in today."

"Don't get use to it, you're starting school soon," Natasha chimed in.

James groaned and flopped on his back. "You're so dramatic," Natasha said, looking down at him, "just like your dad."

"I'm not dramatic," Steve argued.

"Please, you have a new uniform every five minutes, and you always have some sort of speech about America and freedom ready," Natasha said, rising, "you're dramatic." Steve let out a small laugh, and he didn't argue.

"Can we have pancakes?" James questioned, breaking the silence.

Steve rose, but Natasha put a hand on his chest to stop him. "I'll make them, go back to sleep."

Steve caught James's eye, James was nodding his head no with his eyes wide. Steve chuckled. "I'll make them, I've had enough kitchen fires to last a lifetime."

"Hey, I had it under control," Natasha protested.

"Sure you did."

"Don't sass me."

* * *

**AN: This is only half of what I originally planned on posting, but I won't be able to update until next week. So I just wanted to update something **


	6. Chapter 6

The knocking on the door woke Steve.

Natasha stirred when he moved away from her, but she didn't wake up. Steve flicked the lamp on, and squinted against the light flooding into the room. The clock on the nightstand read two am, and Steve reluctantly got out of bed.

Steve brushed the hair out of Natasha's face before leaving the room. There was another small knock as he walked to the door. He reached for the doorknob with the full intention of telling who ever is there that they can come back in the morning.

The words died on his lips as he opened the door.

The only thing that come out was a small, "Bucky?"

Bucky was in a green jacket with a cap pulled over his eyes. His hands were stuffed in his pockets, and a small smile tugged at his lips. "Hey, Punk."

Steve blinked a few times, he was convinced he was dreaming or seeing things. But he quickly shook it off, and pulled Bucky into a hug.

"Steve, is everything alright?" Steve pulled away when he heard Natasha's voice. She came out of their bedroom rubbing at her eyes. "I woke up and you were- oh." She stopped talking when she saw Bucky.

Natasha stood frozen for a few moments, her eyes flicking between the two men. She slowly padded over to them when Steve held out his hand for her.

His arm slipped around her waist, and he turned to Bucky with a smile. "This is Natasha, my wife."

Bucky's eyebrows rose when he heard "wife," and his eyes darted to her stomach, but he shrugged it off and held out his hand.

Natasha shook it and turned to Steve. "I'll give you some time alone."

"When did you get married?" Bucky asked, watching Natasha slip into the bedroom.

"A few months ago actually."

Bucky raised his eyebrows, "and you already started having kids?"

Steve laughed, "funny story actually."

Bucky was about to reply when he heard a door inside the apartment open. James appeared, rubbing at his eyes a little. It confused Bucky until he saw that he had the same blond hair as Steve and the same eyes as Natasha.

James stepped closer to them, giving Bucky the same cautious look Natasha had given him. He stood behind Steve with his hands grasping onto the plaid material of Steve's pajama pants.

Steve set his hand on James' back. "Did we wake you up?" James nodded and peeked at Bucky from behind Steve. Steve turned back to Bucky. "He's a little shy."

Steve crouched down to James, and lowered his voice to a whisper. "This is your Uncle Bucky, the one I've been telling you about." James' eyes widened, and Steve stood up, chuckling.

"This is James."

Bucky froze. "His name is James?" He asked.

Steve smiled, "James Rogers." He turned back to James, "Say 'hi,' James."

James peeked out behind Steve's leg. "Hi," he said quickly before darting back behind Steve.

Bucky's lips stretched into a small smile, "hi, James." He turned back to Steve, "I should leave. I wouldnt have come so late if I knew-" His voice trailed off, and his eyes darted to James and the door that Natasha had just gone into. "I didn't mean to wake everyone up."

"It's alright," Steve said, "stay."

Bucky was already backing away from the door. "It's late, I should go," he repeated.

"Bucky," Steve called before he could leave the hall, "wait." Bucky stopped, and Steve strided over to him. "You don't have to leave. James has been wanting to meet you for years," Steve said, his voice low. Bucky looked over his shoulder and saw James standing in the doorway. "And I promise Natasha is a lot friendlier when she's more awake," Steve joked. "Just stay."

Bucky sighed, "you have a family, Steve, a _life_. I don't want to mess everything up."

Steve shook his head, "you're not." Yes, Steve was happy, more than happy, with his life, but he had to admit that his best friend was the one thing missing from his life. He clasped his hand onto Bucky's shoulder, "'till the end of the line, remember?"

Bucky nodded, "'till the end of the line."

"You're always welcome here, Bucky," Steve said.

Bucky just have him a small nod and left. Steve walked back to the apartment when he wasn't in sight anymore. "Was that really Uncle Bucky?" James asked.

Steve set a hand on his back. "Yeah, it was your Uncle Bucky."

"Is he coming back?" James asked.

"Yes, I know he is," Steve said, his eyes flicking to the door. "It is way past your bedtime, Buddy." Steve said, walking towards James' room.

James looked over his shoulder at the door where Bucky was standing only moments before. "He looks different than the picture."

Steve really only had a few pictures of Bucky, all of which were extremely old. "those pictures are old, people change."

James climbed into his bed. "His hair is like Mom's," James said.

Steve chuckled as he tucked him in. "Don't tell either of them that."

Natasha was still awake by the time he slipped into their bedroom. "Everything alright?" She asked softly.

"Fine, more than fine, everything's amazing." Steve said, leaning against the wall.

"No it's not," Natasha said, sitting up, "you're avoiding eye contact and you're keeping your distance. Something's wrong."

"Nothing is a secret when you marry a spy."

"No, you're just a terrible liar," Natasha said. She held her hand out, and he took it and let her pull him onto the bed. She brushed the hair from his face, "and I know you too well to not notice when something's wrong."

"I just feel like I screwed everything up somehow, he left pretty quick," Steve said.

"It's a lot to take in, Steve, the last time he saw you was years ago, and now you're married with a family. Give him some time to adjust."

"He met James."

Natasha tilted his chin towards her, "it's even more of a reason he'll need time to adjust. And he'll come back, you have a way of making people stick around," Natasha said.

Steve chuckled, "I think that's only you."

"What can I say, you're a charmer."

* * *

**AN: Boom. Uncle Bucky. I am _extremely _sorry for my lack of updates lately, the holidays are a very busy time**


	7. Chapter 7

"Would you mind watching James for a few hours?"

Bucky looked up from the TV to look at Natasha. Steve stayed true to his promise: Bucky was always welcome there. And James, like his mother, wasn't shy, and took a liking to him almost instantly. James and Bucky had been watching TV as Natasha had been taking advantage of having free time to finish any paperwork that she didn't finish at work. But Steve was going to be home any minute to take Natasha to her checkup.

Bucky was silent. Years away from Hydra has given him more control of his brain, and he can't remember the last time he lost control. But he's couldn't be completely positive that he was himself again, and he doesn't want to be around anyone alone just in case something goes wrong.

"Please, he hates going to the checkups with us," Natasha said.

"You trust me to?" Bucky asked, raising his eyebrows.

Natasha stopped digging through her purse to look at him. "Steve trusts you," her voice was certain, "so I trust you." There's not a lot of people Natasha trusts, especially with James, but Steve has trusted Bucky for years and she trust Steve.

Bucky's eyes flicked to the floor. Natasha knew what he was feeling, she felt the same when Steve told her he trusted her years before. That feeling of not being trusted because of her past, she knows it too well. "Okay, I'll watch him."

Natasha's phone buzzed, and she grabbed her purse. "Steve's here, I have to go." She kissed the top of James' head, and said, "be good for your Uncle Bucky. I love you."

James twisted and reached over the couch to give her a quick hug. "Bye, love you, too," he said quickly, and turned back to the TV.

"Call me if you need anything. And don't let him watch too much TV!" She called before leaving.

* * *

"Where's James?" Steve asked as Natasha got into the taxi.

"Bucky is watching him," Natasha said cautiously. She couldn't deny there was a part of her that expected Steve to freak out. To ask her what she was thinking, and run out of the taxi to the apartment.

But he didn't. He just squeezed her knee and said, "okay."

"I miss your bike," Natasha said, looking at the broken seatbelt.

"Well you're free to join me on it anytime you're not pregnant," Steve said. Then his tone turned serious. "I just got off the phone with Sam, he's coming down here from D.C.."

"James will be happy. How long is he staying?"

While Steve and Natasha went back to New York, Sam stayed in D.C.. But he did occasionally visit, more so after James was born. And he was helping Steve find Bucky after the leads picked up, traveling for days when Steve couldn't.

"He doesn't know yet, it's not just a visit, he's coming for Bucky. He's going to try to help him with his PTSD," Steve said.

"Well if anyone can do it, it's Sam," Natasha pointed out.

Steve chuckled, "that is true." Sam is also the only one who knows what happened to Bucky _and_ can help him, but Steve didn't say it, he knows Natasha already knows. Because Sam has helped Steve and, even though she denies it, Natasha. It was simple talking to Sam, he'd just shift the conversation without anyone realizing and before they knew it they were telling him their life stories, and burdens; but they both felt worlds better after a conversation with him. But the trauma Natasha had of the red room and Steve of being frozen was twice as hard for Bucky. Natasha and Steve at least had some control of their actions, Bucky had none.

In the Red Room Natasha had heard of the Winter Soldier, but she never did really talk to him. Well, the Winter Soldier never talked to anyone. Only to give mission reports, and when he did talk it was in a monotone voice that didn't seem human. When he was brought to the Red Room, stories about him sprouted almost instantly; ranging from simple ones about his days as James Barnes to dramatic stories of how he was going to lose it one day and kill everyone in his path. Natasha thought it was all ridiculous, but she still kept her distance. It's hard to believe that that same man is in her apartment babysitting her son. But the Winter Soldier and Bucky Barnes aren't really the same man, not to her and definitely not to Steve.

"The baby was kicking earlier today," Natasha said, shifting the conversation to a happier note.

"Are you serious?" Steve asked. The smile that Natasha loves was blossoming on his face, and Natasha would've reached up to kiss him if they weren't in a taxi.

"He didn't really kick for that long, I didn't even realize it 'till after."

"He?" Steve asked, eyebrows raised.

"Yes, _he_. I'm positive he's a boy," Natasha stated confidently.

"And why is that?"

"Because when it comes to my boys I'm always right," Natasha said, slipping her hand into Steve's.

"Well, I still think she's a girl," Steve said, giving her hand a squeeze.

"We're here, so we'll find out soon."

Steve payed the driver. "Don't forget our deal," he said while getting out of the taxi.

"I wont, Rogers."

* * *

"What happened to your arm?"

Bucky turned to see James examining his arm. He didn't know what to say, he couldn't tell him that he got the arm as a weapon. "Well," he started, "a long time ago there was an accident, and I did lose my real arm. But I got this one instead."

James reached out and touched the metal. "Woah," he said, his eyes wide. Bucky tensed, he didn't like people touching his arm, the arm that ended so many people's life's, he especially didn't like children touching his arm.

But he stayed still as James touched it for a few more moments before saying, "if I lose my arm, will I get a robot arm?"

"No! No," Bucky repeated, calmer this time. "Believe me, kid, you're not going to lose your arm."

"But what if-"

"No."

James sighed, and flopped back into the couch. Bucky thought he lost interest until he spoke again. "Can it do anything?"

"I can lift really heavy things."

James' head perked back up. "Can you lift Uncle Thor?"

"I don't think I want to try."

* * *

"Where's James today?" The doctor asked as she stepped into the small room.

"With his Uncle," Natasha said. Steve was next her, holding her hand.

"So, we just need to run the usual test, make sure everything's okay, then you'll find out the gender."

The checkup went as usual, with the doctor making small talk that only Steve was replying to. Natasha hated small talk. The only time she spoke was when it was time to find out the gender, and it was only a few words.

Steve had pulled a chair by the side of the exam bed, and their hands were still laced together. Unlike when they found out James' gender, they were oddly silent. Both of their eyes were glued to the small screen.

The doctor finally turned to them, "it looks like you'll be having a girl, congratulations."

Steve turned to her, a smile on his face. "I knew it," he said before reaching out to give her a quick kiss.

Natasha only squeezed his hand, and turned back to the screen, a smile on her face.

* * *

**AN: So I decided not to include past BuckyNat, but instead I offer a Sam Wilson. **


	8. Chapter 8

"Can you feel it?"

"No."

Natasha laughed as James stared at his hand, concentrating. She covered his small hand with her own, and moved his hand around her stomach until she felt a familiar little kick. "How about now?" James looked up at her, his eyes wide. "That's your sister," Natasha said, wrapping her free arm around him.

James sat up from where he was tucked against Natasha's side, and sat on his knees closer to her. "Woah."

Natasha looked down at him, and her lips tugged into a smile. She's wondered, more than once, how her life changed so quickly. She thought about it every time she laid awake next to Steve, listening to his even breathing, or whenever she pulled James into her arms, and recently every time she felt a small kick from her daughter. It's hard to believe that just a few years ago she was alone. The thought made her pull James into her arms.

"Mom!" He protested as she held him tighter. But he still wrapped his arms around her and leaned his head on her shoulder.

She carded her hands through his hair, smiling to herself. "I love you," she whispered into his hair. She faintly heard him mumble his reply. "I can't believe you're starting school soon, it's going to be so quiet without you." At the mention of school, James groaned and Natasha laughed and held him tighter.

They stayed like that for a few moments, James across her lap, and Natasha running her hands through his hair, until the door open and Steve appeared, smiling at the sight. James' face lit up, and Natasha laughed as she let him go. "You're home early," Natasha said as Steve gave her a quick kiss.

He smiled at her. "I snuck out of work early."

"Rebellious," Natasha said, pulling Steve down next to her.

He chuckled as he wrapped his arm around her. "Hey, Buddy," Steve said as James wedged himself between his parents, a habit he developed at a small age. Steve chuckled again, "I think you're getting too big to do that, James." He had easily fit between them the year before but he was growing quickly. Steve had had some fears that James would grow to be how Steve was before the serum: skinny, short, and he was scared he'd have asthma or be colorblind. The list went on, but James showed no signs of any of it. And Steve was relieved to find that his son was growing up healthy, something that Steve's mother never got to know the feeling of. He knew that if his mother could see him now she'd be proud. He's thought about it, more than once, how much he wanted his mother to be able to know his family, but he knew it was completely impossible, she passed away years before the war. Even if she didn't, there was no way his mother would be alive when he got out of the ice.

"I think I'm getting too big for it," Natasha said, grabbing Steve from his thoughts, he was thankful, he was getting upset.

"You're only five months along, Nat."

James's head perked up. "She was punching mom," he said, his eyes wide.

"She was kicking a few minutes ago," Natasha said, correcting James.

Steve sighed. "I missed it again? Unless," he said, placing his hand on Natasha's stomach. "Nothing? Alright."

Natasha placed her hand above his. "Maybe it's a sign that I'm going to be her favorite parent," she said mockingly.

"Hilarious."

* * *

"He looks like you."

Steve turned to face Bucky. When Steve had taken James and Taylor to the park that morning, James had asked, repetitively, if Bucky could come too. Steve, not wanting to have sit at the park alone while the children played, had agreed and called him. And Steve needed to tell him about Sam before he flew in, he wasn't sure if Bucky would be keen to the idea of therapy.

Having Bucky by his side again was strange, familiar, but strange. "I've been told that a lot," Steve said. Natasha always pointed out their similarities, she thought it was adorable. "But that eyebrow thing he does is completely from Nat."

"I've noticed. The way he acts reminds me of you, too," Bucky said, leaning back onto the bench.

"Like a punk?"

Bucky cracked the first smile Steve has seen all day. "He's definitely a punk, he keeps asking me if I can lift Thor."

Steve laughed. "I'll tell him to stop."

"I don't mind," Bucky said, shrugging.

"There's something I've been wanting to ask you," Steve started. When Bucky turned to him, eyebrows raised, he continued. "We found out a few days ago that the baby is a girl."

Bucky clasped Steve's shoulder. "Congratulations."

Steve offered him a small smile and continued. "And Nat and I have been talking and we want you to be her guardian if anything happens to us."

Bucky was silent for a few moments. He was slowly becoming himself again, but he will never be _completely_ himself again, he wasn't sure if he could look after a child. With the lives they had, it was likely that something could happen, and Natasha and Steve's kids would be left without them. Then their daughter would be stuck with him. "You sure about this?"

"Positive. It's a very small chance that you'll ever need to gain custody, but it's just a relief to know our kids will be alright without us," Steve said.

Bucky turned back to the playground in front of them. James and Taylor were on the monkey bars, and the sight of them made Bucky think about how much progress he has actually made. He use to not be able to be around kids, whenever there were too many on the street, he'd duck into a nearby store. Or whenever a toddler would smile at him, he'd only give a small smile back before looking away. But he was comfortable enough with them around. He didn't flinch as Taylor examined his arm and stated that her Dad could build a better one before James had grabbed her arm and pulled her to the playground.

Steve was still looking at him expectantly. "I'll do it."

* * *

During Natasha's last pregnancy, she had plenty of nights without sleep. She does get a lot more sleep during this pregnancy, mostly due to the fact that Steve's arms were around her every night, but there were still nights that she laid awake.

It was after the second time that she had got up to check on James, that Steve woke up. "Can't sleep?" He asked softly, his arms tightening around her.

"Not with you snoring like a jackass." He chuckled, and she twisted in his arms to face him. "Did I wake you up?" She asked.

"No."

"You're lying."

"Yeah, you did," he admitted, running his hands through her hair with a small smile on his face, "I don't mind, though. You should probably get some sleep."

She nuzzled closer to him. "Easier said than done."

"I'll help you fall asleep," Steve said softly.

She peeked up at him from the crook of his neck and smirked. "Are you going to tell me all your old man stories?"

He breathed out a laugh. "No, I was thinking that we should probably talk about names."

"What did you have in mind?"

His hand ran up and down her arm absentmindedly as he spoke. "Kathleen, Virginia, Bonnie, Doris-"

"Those are all _such_ old lady names," Natasha said, interrupting him.

"I know, and I'm torn between Virginia and Doris," Steve said, the corners of his lips tugging into a smile, "but I still think Mildred is promising."

Steve's laughs echoed throughout the room as Natasha hit him with a pillow. "You're going to wake up James, and we both know how pleasant James is when he's woken up."

Steve pulled her closer. "Reminds me of you," Steve said.

"I'm pretty sure he gets that from you," Natasha said, lightly poking him.

"Nope, definitely from you."

* * *

**AN: I'm hoping to finish up this story soon, because I have been wanting to start a few others. So expect only a few more chapters. Reviews make my day, and favs/follows make me happy. **


	9. Chapter 9

The hall in the school was crowded with parents and their kids. Natasha and Steve were off to the side, crouching in front of James. Occasionally a few kids would look up at them and gasp and Steve only gave them a small smile. Natasha didn't notice them, her attention was on James. She held his small hand in her own as she spoke to him. Steve was rubbing her back, he knew this was hard on her. He even saw her eyes water just a bit, probably just the result of her hormones, but none the less, Steve ignored them so he wouldn't get slapped by his pregnant wife in the middle of a school hallway.

"You'll have Taylor with you," Natasha whispered to him.

"I know," James mumbled.

Steve scanned the room and found Tony, Pepper, and Taylor. Tony and Taylor were laughing about something as Pepper was smoothing down Taylor's skirt, a smile on her face. Steve knew that Taylor was going to pull James into the classroom at any moment, so he snapped his attention back to him.

Steve knelt closer to James. "Hey Buddy, we're going to have to go soon." James' eyes widened, and Steve put his hands on his shoulders to soothe him. "I was nervous about my first day of school too," Steve said. It was a very, very long time ago, but Steve could still faintly remember it. It was before he had met Bucky and being alone made him a little nervous. But he wasn't scared, he's never scared. And neither is James. "I'm going to need you to be brave, for me." Hearing that his dad needed him to do something, James immediately nodded his head.

James inhaled and exhaled before speaking. "Okay."

Steve pulled him into his arms, James didn't protest as he normally would. "I love you, Buddy."

James' arms tightened around him. "I love you too." Okay, maybe this was a little hard on Steve too.

Steve tried to think of some way to get James happy before they left. There were some kids crying and clinging to their parents, but James wasn't and Steve intended to keep it that way. It was going to be a surprise, but Steve just decided to tell him. "Your Uncle Sam should be here when you get home," Steve said.

James gasped and pulled back. "Really?"

Steve chuckled, he was relieved to see the first smile of the morning on James' face. "Yes really."

Kids were starting to enter the classroom, so Natasha quickly pulled James into an embrace. "Have fun, I love you," she said as she kissed the top of his head.

"I love you too, Momma," James replied happily. All too soon he was squirming out of her arms as Taylor called his name. A few pictures were taken before Taylor declared that she was ready to go. She grabbed James's hand and marched into the classroom, her head held high.

"That kid is way too much like you, Tony," Natasha said as they watched them dissapear into the classroom.

Tony laughed and Pepper sighed. Together they said, "I know."

They parted ways, Tony and Pepper to the tower, Steve and Natasha to their apartment. Steve slung an arm around her as they walked. She poked his side. "Hey, I thought Sam coming was going to be a surprise."

Steve shrugged. "I couldn't wait, I had to tell him."

"You're weak, Rogers."

He chuckled before saying, "I just wanted to make him smile before we left." If he let James go to school unhappy, he probably would've thought about it the entire day and end up going to the school to check on him. That would've been a fun stories for the kids to tell: Captain America stormed into their classroom to check on his son, who was probably just finger painting and was absolutely fine.

"I guess you're right."

Steve stopped walking and Natasha looked up at him. "Am I hearing things? Did you just tell me I was right?"

Natasha smirked. "Maybe you should get your hearing aid fixed if you're having trouble hearing, Old Man."

"Hilarious."

* * *

Steve has seen that look on her face before. Years ago when they were on the run from Hydra and in Sam's guest room. He still remembers that moment, the distant look in her eyes as her mind raced. He hasn't seen that look in years, but he'd recognize it any day.

He crouched down in front of her, she didn't give him a smile as she usually would. She just sat on the couch, looking at the wall in front of her with all their framed pictures hanging. The newest of which was their wedding picture. Steve wove his fingers through hers, and she finally looked at him.

"You alright?" He asked as he absentmindedly traced small circles on his hand with her thumb.

"I'm fine."

"I'm your husband, I know when you're lying." A pause. "Most of the time."

Natasha laughed a small, breathy laugh that was gone as quickly as it came. "It's quiet without James," she said, her voice turning serious.

"I know."

She switched her gaze from his face to his hands. With her free hand she twisted his wedding ring around his finger. "Do you ever think about how fast these past couple of years have gone by?"

He looked at their hands, she was still twisting his ring. "Sometimes."

"I mean we're married, and James started school already, and I'm pregnant again-" She stopped for a few moments before sighing. "I guess it's just hitting me how much my life changed."

"In a good way though, right?"

"Of course."

He lifted her chin with his free hand to look at her. "Then what's bothering you, Nat?" The way she was acting was so unlike her. She was never unsure about anything, it's one of the things Steve loved about her.

She sighed and was silent for a few moments. "Do you think I'm a good mother?" She blurted out.

"Of course you are," Steve said right away, "why would you think any differently?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. Sometimes I feel like I am barely raising James, how am I going to raise two kids? What if I screw up with both of them?"

Steve knew she's had some trouble over the years, but he didn't know they went this far. "How long have you felt this way?" He asked.

She shrugged and looked back at the wall. "Probably since I was pregnant with James."

"Nat, look at me." She did, and he cupped her cheek. "James is healthy, happy, and loved, and that's all that matters. And when Mildred-"

"_Steve_."

"Kidding," he reassured her quickly. "When our daughter is born, she's going to be just fine. She's going to love you just as much as James does, and you're always going to have me with you, every step of the way."

She nodded her head. She still wasn't entirely convinced, but one conversation wasn't going to wash away years of second guessing. "I know you are."

Steve reached up and kissed her, softly and slowly. "I love you," he said when he pulled away.

"I love you too."

* * *

When the time came to pick James up, Steve and Natasha waited among the other parents until the bell rang and they spotted James' blond hair through the window. Steve couldn't help the smile growing on his face when James ran straight into his arms the second he was out of the classroom.

"Did you have fun, Buddy?" Steve asked as he wrapped his arms around him.

"Yeah!" James exclaimed, very loudly and very close to Steve's ear.

Steve chuckled. "I could tell."

James squirmed out of his grip to launch himself at Natasha, albeit a lot more gentle than he was with Steve. "It wasn't so bad, was it, baby?" Natasha asked.

They both laughed when he shook his head and began to tell him about all the fun he had. And they listened the entire way home even though hearing in _extreme_ detail of how he built a skyscraper with wooden blocks wasn't the most interesting topic. But they loved him and they were thankful that he was happy, so they listened.

* * *

**AN: I hope the amount of fluff in this chapter makes up for my lack of updates. I am sorry guys, my life has been busy lately. But I should be able to update more now. If you have any suggestions for their daughters name, then feel free to share! Thanks for reading and please kindly leave a review!**


	10. Chapter 10

**AN: So this story was planned before AoU so it's not going to be related to it at all, but I did become Maximoff trash after that movie so oops here they are. And Taylor's name was changed to Ash (sorry) which I still need to change in previous chapters, sorry for the confusion.**

* * *

Natasha leaned her head against the cool metal of the elevator. Tony had invited -insisted, quite persistently- that they visited the tower. Natasha wanted to stay at home but James begged her to go with them, and of course she gave in because her son makes a face that's much too close to Steve's when he wants something. If she was being honest she didn't really like the tower, sure it was fun to visit but only for a few hours. They still have a floor in the tower but their apartment in Brooklyn seemed a lot more appealing than it did a few months before. And Natasha liked the quiet of their apartment, well as quiet as it could be with a five-year-old, and the tower could be a little much sometimes.

She looked at James, he was trying to use Bucky's metal arm as a pull-up bar, and Steve had to dodge his swinging legs. Natasha sighed but kept her mouth shut, she's noticed Bucky has had issues with being touched, especially on his arm, and despite her noticing, James did not. Bucky seemed more comfortable around the Rogers though, mostly with James. Steve had told James story after story about Bucky, and by the time Bucky actually became a part of James' life, James already felt like he knew him as much as any of his other uncles. And he had no boundaries with his uncles. James was fascinated with the arm. Bucky hated the arm, but he still let James stare at it and ask more questions than should be possible, and ask Bucky to lift _everything_.

The elevator opened with a small _ding_; Natasha could only see a small portion of the room but she could tell it was packed from all the mix of voices. Out of the corner of her eye she could see Bucky tense up but he quickly composed himself before James grabbed his arm and pulled him into the room. "He probably found Sam," Steve said, wrapping his arm around her waist.

"Don't know how he could find anyone with all of these people here," Natasha whispered so only Steve could hear.

"I didn't know, I wouldn't have made Bucky come if I did." A few people turned to them, their eyebrows raising at Natasha's belly. They liked to keep their lives as private as possible and there was a lot of people that didn't know she was pregnant. Steve waved to the few that he knew and ignored the ones he didn't.

"He'll probably sneak out if he needs to," Natasha assured him, "and if one person touches my stomach I'll go with him."

Steve gasped. "And leave a man behind?"

She elbowed him. "You'll still have James with you," she pointed out.

"Leaving _two_ men behind?"

"You're sleeping on the couch tonight."

* * *

It always amazed Bucky just how many people James could get attention from. Almost everyone who was near him would instantly stop what they were doing to say hello to him or give him a few minutes of their day. Currently it was Wanda Maximoff, she was kneeling down to James' height as he talked to her. Her brown hair was curtained around her face and Bucky had an odd urge to reach out and tuck it behind her ear, but instead he stayed planted in his position of leaning against the wall. They had a quick introduction before her attention was brought back to James, but Bucky's attention stayed on the girl in front of him, and it didn't help that she kept looking up to smile at him from time to time. He smiled back with a smile that he didn't know he still had in him.

Steve and Sam had told him about the Maximoff twins, how they were tested on and how they eventually joined the avengers and SHIELD. He guessed he didn't really expect them to be so… normal? It wasn't exactly the word he was looking for but another word didn't come to Bucky's mind. Unlike himself, Wanda was so put together; the weight of her burdens didn't show on her face like Bucky knew his did. People could tell Bucky was fucked up just by looking at him. She didn't look damaged. Hell, maybe she wasn't, maybe she found a way to overcome what's happened to her and start living her life again. Bucky wished he could. There's definitely been an improvement in the past few years, but he could still barely even handle being in a crowded room.

"Uncle Sam!" James suddenly yelled, taking off into the crowd while drawing out the 'a' in Sam's name.

Wanda stood back up and Bucky found himself face to face with her. "Hi," he said in a voice that sounded much more high pitched than his normal voice. Damn, he lost his edge. What was he thinking? He didn't even need it, _sure_ she was pretty and all but- but then she was smiling and he forgot what he was thinking about.

"Hi again." Right. They already said hello.

Bucky was too busy mentally kicking himself to even realize that she was still talking, and she was looking at him expectantly. All he could get out was a dumb "what?"

She didn't seem to mind, she just laughed and repeated herself. "Does James usually drag you everywhere?" She asked, leaning against the wall next to him.

"Usually yeah," Bucky said, surprising himself with the small laugh that followed, "I don't mind though, it's not like I got anything better to do." Oh, that was bad.

He looked around, looking for an excuse to leave before he embarrassed himself more. The place was huge, it looked like it belonged in one of the science fairs he use to drag Steve to, but he was able to find James with Sam, both gave him a small wave and he returned with one of his own. Steve and Natasha had slipped off to the side and were talking to each other about something Bucky couldn't hear, their arms were around each other and they would've looked like teenagers if it weren't for Natasha's belly between them. Bucky looked away when Natasha stood on her toes to press her lips against Steve's, they were definitely occupied. Which meant he had no where to be except right there with Wanda. And he couldn't find it in himself to mind.

"You didn't join SHIELD?" She asked.

"No, I don't think I'm ready for that yet," Bucky confessed, breaking eye contact with her. He wasn't ready to start fighting again; he couldn't even pick up a gun without remembering how many lives he took. _The Winter Soldier_. Not him, he corrected himself. Sam had told him to separate himself from The Winter Soldier, see him as a different person, since yes, it was Bucky's body but he wasn't in control of it.

Her shoulder brushed against his and he surprised himself by not jumping. "It took me awhile too," she said. "I was with Hydra too, you know." Of course he already knew that, but he still felt a connection to her from their struggles. Sure, Sam and Steve were supportive and tried everything they could to help, but they didn't know what it was like being strapped down to a table while scientist poked at them like they weren't an actual human. Natasha understood, but she refuses to talk about that chapter of her life to anyone but Steve.

He didn't know if she just had one of those faces or he just had a lot of words pent up from over the years, but once he started talking, he couldn't stop. Wanda listened, even if it was getting confusing from the more gruesome parts he left out. It was vague but he still spoke and she listened to every word.

* * *

The party wasn't that bad, Natasha guessed. It had been almost ten minutes and nobody had bothered her and Steve, and if that could last for just an hour or two then they could sneak out and tell Stark they stayed. But of course that wasn't happening. Before she knew it she was being crushed against Thor's chest. "It's been quite awhile," he said, his voice loud as usual.

"Easy, Thor, she's pregnant," she heard Steve say.

"Please, it's Natasha," Clint said, standing next to Steve, "pregnant or not she's indestructible." Ellie was on his hip with one of his arms wrapped around her. She had her little head tucked in Clint's shoulder but the second she saw Steve and Natasha she tried to throw herself out of Clint's arms. "Alright, alright leave your poor father."

Thor released Natasha from his death grip of a hug, and Clint passed her Ellie. She'd admit that it was difficult to hold her with her belly in the way but she managed to, Steve was already right next to her, cooing over the baby in her arms. "How does James feel about being a brother?" Clint asked.

"He wasn't exactly enthusiastic at first but he warmed up to it," Steve said. The problem with their job was that it was common for one of them to be gone for awhile, and over the years James had begun to be extra clingy whenever they were all together. He didn't really like the idea of another person coming into their family since it was rare that he'd get attention from both of his parents at the same time, and that wasn't something that he wanted to share. But with all the stories Bucky and Steve had told him, he had warmed up to the idea of being a brother, and stopped sighing dramatically every time someone asked him about his sister.

"You decided on a name or is she still Baby Number Two?" Clint asked. His eyes stayed on Ellie as he spoke, and the corner of his lips would tug into a small smile whenever she decided something was amusing and burst into laughter.

"Well Mildred has been pretty high on the list," Steve said, dodging from Natasha trying to elbow him.

"God, Steve, no," Natasha said, ignoring his laughing. "We haven't decided yet."

"You going for a Russian name?"

"Not after Steve googled Russian names and picked out the worst ones," Natasha said. For the past week from the second she woke up Steve started suggesting Russian baby names. She doesn't even think he actually likes them, he just scrolls through his phone and reads off every name he sees.

"I was trying to be considerate."

"Real considerate to name her Olga."

"That one was a joke."

"Where's James?" Clint cut in. He didn't understand they way they spoke to each other, and it became annoying to watch because it usually ended with them kissing and Clint didn't need to see that.

"Where _is_ James?" Steve asked, looking around the room.

"You always manage to lose him, Rogers. He's with Bucky," Natasha said. Natasha scanned the room but James wasn't with him. "Okay, James isn't with Bucky," -her eyebrows rose- "Bucky is with Wanda."

"Wanda?" Steve asked, he discreetly, well, as discreetly as he could, looked at the two.

Her mind wasn't on the pair though. She knew Bucky wouldn't just let James loose in the tower filled with people they didn't know, he's probably just with Sam. Still, she scanned the room looking for his blond hair, a tinge of fear going through her. "Well I'm going to go find my kid," Natasha said. She passed Ellie back to Clint and she wrapped her arms around him again. "You know, you really shouldn't be carrying her so much," she added.

"I'm not letting her loose here, unlike you people."

"Clint I have found you in a dumpster, don't be so quick to judge."

"Hey, it happens okay?"

* * *

**AN: I'm so sorry for the lack of updates, I haven't been able to write lately because of personal reasons and I'm trying to get back into the swing of things which is also why this chapter was cut short. **


	11. Chapter 11

"Natasha is going to murder you."

Wanda turned to Bucky, a smile on her lips and her hands raised. "Relax, Bucky, I'm the babysitter for a reason," she said.

"I'm the babysitter, you're just the one that got suckered into helping me," Bucky said, eyeing the makeshift ramp made out of furniture in the Roger's living room. It looked unsafe, and Bucky cringed as James climbed onto it.

James stood on the arm rest of the couch, it was leaning against an armchair, almost completely on its side, and one end was propped up in the air. The couch wobbled as James climbed to the highest point and Bucky made a move to grab him before he fell. A flash of scarlet and it turned sturdy. "Ease up," Wanda said, smiling over at Bucky, "I know what I'm doing."

"Go!" James called. He leaped off the couch and Bucky felt his heart stop. After free falling for a few seconds James was suspended in the air, color swirling around him, just a few feet off the ground. Wanda laid him down gently on the pillows that were placed on the floor earlier. The pillows were a safety precaution that Bucky insisted on. He also insisted on James wearing a helmet, even if the only one they could find was Steve's helmet that was much too big on James. Both were deemed unnecessary; Wanda always caught him.

"Okay, that's enough," Bucky said. He decided he had enough panic for one night.

James sat up and looked at Wanda with his eyes wide and with a small pout on his lips. Effective, but subtle. Bucky recognized that face, and not just because he's been on the receiving end of it. Steve has made that face plenty of times, even if it only worked on Natasha. "Just one more time?" James asked.

Wanda's eyes flicked to Bucky, silently asking permission. Bucky was purposely avoiding his nephew's face; the kid was cute and it was hard to say no to him. Bucky only shook his head at Wanda, and her shoulders slumped slightly as she turned back to James.

"I think we've scared Bucky enough for one night," she said. James sighed, and laid back down on the pillows. "But I think James can agree that I'm the better babysitter," she added.

"She is," he agreed. His biased opinion due to the fact that Bucky was the one to stop the fun.

Bucky crouched down to help James up and chuckled to himself before unbuckling the helmet. James might have Natasha's eyes, but with the blonde hair sticking out of the Cap helmet, he looked exactly like Steve.

"Betraying the one you're named after," Bucky chided with a smile on his face.

_What a punk_, he thought.

* * *

"We actually have time to ourselves," Natasha said in disbelief.

"Practically unheard of," Steve added.

It took a whole week of Steve brooding before Sam had snapped at him, telling him to just take a day off already. He even volunteered to take James for the night, and Steve agreed knowing that James would be happy spending the night with one of his favorite uncles.

Sam had indefinitely stayed in New York for many reason, and Bucky was one of them. Sam wasn't a therapist, but he did have a way with words to help people. But Bucky and Sam had an odd relationship. Steve wasn't sure if they hated each other or not, but they were arguing most of the time. Almost everything seemed like a competition of sorts between them. But Steve knew there was a friendship there -however odd- Sam was just one of the few to see him as Bucky and not the Winter Soldier. Not a lot of people would have the balls to call Bucky an asshole to his face like Sam does. Strange enough, Bucky played along. Even stranger than that, Bucky seemed almost grateful to have someone added to the list of people not tip-toeing around him.

So when Sam had told Steve that he couldn't watch James, Bucky wasted no time in volunteering. Bucky even looked satisfied with himself when he looked at Sam and said, "I'll watch James. I'm sure he likes spending time with his favorite uncle more."

Sam had only crossed his arms and said, "So that's how it is?"

They would've gone into an argument about who is the favorite uncle but Steve had snapped at one of them to watch his kid. Which ended up being Bucky and, surprisingly, Wanda. She had shown up with Bucky, and Steve was too desperate for time alone with Natasha to question it.

Which was how he found himself in a forties style diner with his wife. Alone. They both weren't big on public displays of affection but he couldn't help but to keep a hand on her leg at every second. But she did start swatting him away like a cat when he started kissing her neck in a way that wasn't appropriate in public.

"God, Rogers, I'm already pregnant," she said while closing the menu and hitting him with it. He plucked the menu out of her hands, not that it did any damage in the first place. "You never try anything in public."

"We also have never went this long without having time to ourselves," Steve pointed out.

She turned to him, an eyebrow raised. "Your birthday is coming up. You think I wouldn't spend some time with you?"

"Even if birthday sex is off the table?" Steve asked, mimicking her expression and raising his eyebrow.

"When I'm not eight months pregnant I'll make it up to you."

"Deal."

He wrapped his arm around her and pulled her close. It felt like too long since he's done that. "Maybe you and her will share a birthday," Natasha said, pulling the hem of her shirt down, and making the swell of her stomach even more obvious. "Then it could be Fourth of July and half the Rogers family's birthday in one day."

"Patriotic," Steve hummed. "And speaking of birthdays," he started, "I still don't know yours."

"Why does it matter?" Natasha asked.

"Well, after being married for a year and having a second kid, I just thought it could bring us a little closer. Also birthday sex just once a year isn't cutting it for me," he added.

"Fine. Only because you're getting cheated out of sex this year." Natasha sighed and turned to him, making his grip around her loosen and his hand fall to her hip. "I think the last time I celebrated my birthday was when I was five or six. The Red Room had our birth dates on file but they only cared about the month so they could move us to a different age group." Steve leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her head, a silent reminder that she was safe with him. "So I forgot the exact date but I know it's in December," she said.

Steve shrugged. "Maybe we'll just celebrate on Christmas."

"Natalia does mean 'born around Christmas,'" she said. Steve looked at her for a few moments, an eyebrow raised as his eyes searched his face. "What's that look suppose to mean?" Natasha asked.

"If it's on Christmas, then how am I going to take you out?"

Natasha rolled her eyes, but still took his hand in hers. "I'm satisfied, you should be satisfied," she declared before pulling his hand to her lips.

"Well, I'm not," Steve said simply. Ignoring the glare sent his way by Natasha as she let his hand go.

"What day should it be then?" Natasha captured the straw of her drink between her lips and looked up at him.

He almost forgot what he was talking about when the corners of her lip tugged up slightly into a small smile. "The fourth? Same day as mine, just a different month, so we won't forget it."

"I'm sure you won't forget it," she said.

"You're right. I'm the perfect husband."

"You're a pain in the ass, Rogers."

"You still married me."

* * *

The only perk of the heart attack inducing activities James had chosen for the night was that the kid knocked out the second his head hit the pillow. James could barely keep his eyes open as Bucky helped him into his pajamas and stood next to him as he brushed his teeth. And it just about melted his heart when James hugged him and said a tired "Good night, Uncle Bucky."

Bucky closed the door behind him softy before joining Wanda in the living room, which was still a mess. The furniture was still piled on top of each other, and all the pillows were strewn on the floor.

"So what are we going to do when Natasha comes home and sees her living room like this?" Bucky asked. He extended his hand towards the mess, as if there was any way Wanda could miss it.

A flurry of Scarlet erupted around them as Wanda placed everything back where it was, erasing any evidence of James' obstacle course. "Like what?" Wanda asked.

Bucky shot her an unamused look before sitting on the couch. Wanda followed suit, and took the seat next to him. She looked at him for a moment, a look of hesitation on her features. Before he could ask what was on her mind, she laid down with her head in his lap instead. He tensed up, unsure of what to do or where to put his hands, so he placed his hands on the back of the couch. It was awkward and uncomfortable but it seemed like the best choice.

He looked around the room, everything was right back into place. Bucky had throughly checked James and made sure there weren't any bruises or scrapes, but he was completely unharmed. Bucky couldn't deny that he was pretty impressed by her. "It's amazing what you can do," he blurted out.

She wiggled her fingers in front of him to show him how her powers swirled and weaved between her fingers. "A lot of people would disagree with you," she said. A small hint of laughter bubbled up in her voice, but there was something else too. Sadness was the first word to come to mind, but Bucky still wasn't sure.

He doesnt feel sad when he thinks about what happened to him. Anger rises up at the thought of how he was used as a machine, and was seen as something so unhuman to the point that he was used and controlled.

Wanda was used. Tested on by people who didn't care if she lived through the process.

Bucky pressed his lips together to stay silent. But the question still slipped out. "What do you think about it?"

Wanda let her hand fall to her side and looked up at him. "I think I'm still me, and I'm not something to be afraid of," she said, "Not a lot of people get that." She turned her attention to her hand and let scarlet slip through her fingers again.

Bucky slipped his metal hand into hers, stopping the swirl of red. He wasn't afraid of her, and she wasn't afraid of him. It meant more to them than anyone would ever know. "I know what you mean."

She smiled at him, and he felt himself smiling back. He didn't realize he was doing it, he was too concentrated on her lips to think about anything else.

He hadn't been kissed in years. Couldn't even remember the last person he kissed. Not that it mattered, she was probably dead or almost there by then. It was an odd thought, the last time he touched a girl was in the forties, almost as if the loving part of him was left there.

He wanted that part of him back.

Bucky couldn't deny that he has felt love in his current time period. Different kinds of love. Family love. James reminded him of his youngest sister Rebecca, and Bucky could feel the same love he had for his sister that he has for James. The love he had for Steve never left, that was his brother and he could never forget him. Natasha let him into her family, the most important thing to her, and he loved her for it.

But Wanda, that was something he hadn't felt in a long time. Too long, if you asked him. It wasn't the love he wanted yet, but it could be.

He leaned down, and she smiled slightly as if she expected it. It took all his willpower to just kiss her cheek. Never had he wanted to kiss someone as badly as he did when she sat up so she could wrap her arms around him and bury her head into his shoulder. He squeezed his eyes shut and kissed the crown of her head.

It was enough. They had time.

* * *

**AN: I know I'm saying this every chapter, but I'm sorry for such a late update again. Life has gotten in the way and I'm really not liking the way my writing has been turning out, so you can imagine that it's hard for me to update. But there is only a few more chapters left in this story, and they will be uploaded consecutively. Thank you for sticking around, and reviews my day!**


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